Much of my blog will be focused on education, and the experiences I've had in the classrooms I've taught in (as I begin subbing). But, as I've yet to have a substitute job bestowed on me, let's address something else. A challenging week! Let's back up a little. I lied to you when I said I hadn't had a sub job bestowed upon me yet, I did get a job! It was exciting, thrilling and I couldn't wait to get started. I was subbing as the teacher in a Theraputic Behavior Intervention classroom. Now, I'm not a teacher in Special Education, nor am I trained in any such manner, but I do love a good challenge! So, I got my professional on, and headed in to teach! Only, when I arrived, to my dismay I accepted an instructional assistant position. I was embarrassed and angry because the post in the system clearly said "Teacher". Now, I don't know if any of my readers are like this, but when I'm right, and I'm sure of it, I get very...lets call it passionate. I was supposed to be the teacher for the day, after all. Now, I was just someone's errand runner/go to person/gal friday? No! It won't happen. I've worked too hard for this. I am a licensed professional and I want to work in that capacity! So, I gave the job the good old college try, and truly believed I would make it through the week. Let me back up one more time. I am the "sort of person", if there are specific sorts of people per se, that MUST be stimulated at all times. If I am not stimulated in some way, or, more specifically, busy, I absolutely feel like I am in jail and must escape the boredom. Boredom is not good for me. To me, boredom is poison. Cut back to my sitting in the classroom, feeling very underused, and underpaid to add insult to injury. I tried to use something I've started telling myself often:
"This will soon be over, and a distant memory. Then you will say 'gee, that went too fast!'"
This mantra of mine has been getting me through some pretty challenging times lately, and if I just focus on the fact that it will be a memory, I can make it though anything. Now, I am not likening this experience, by any means, to torture. The classroom was wonderful. The staff was great, the kids were great. It was I, that was NOT great! My mind kept telling me over and over, "you did this to be a teacher, not an assistant." So much so that it got so out of hand (naughty mind, you need a time out!). I ended up throwing in the towel after two days on the job. I felt miserable, and like a failure. Could I not even force myself to do something for 5 measly days? Why did it matter so much that I was "just" an assistant? Why was it that I could not complete this "challenge"? So, my question to you, is: "What do you do daily, to complete challenges, or survive mentally (or physically) when you have a challenging week/day/hour?"
Let me know in the comments below ;)
Thanks for reading...
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